Self Awareness
Sometimes the simple things are the hardest to master. Since trying to build this community I have been paying more attention to the little things I do day in and day out that help me best manage my ADHD. Many of these have become so engrained in my day to day that I do not even realize that I have been doing them for so long (repetition & consistency= automation).
I used to think that everyone used the amount of visual reminders I do. I figured out this was not the case when friends would return from vacation with a package of cute sticky notes for me. I am not talking about just one person, many would do this. It was a sweet gesture that communicated that they saw me, accepted me and supported me, quirks and all! Again, I will continue to remind you to make sure you surround yourself with good people. It does make a difference. Have no friends? Come to our free events regularly and you might just meet some amazing humans. 😃
As I have been paying more attention to the different things I do I thought I would share this latest one. Yes, I stick notes on my computer. No, I am not embarrassed by this. This one says:
“Hand to Heart” ❤️
1. Planning ahead
2. Awareness in the moment
3. Reflecting
These 3 behaviours are the components necessary for change. But, for myself, I have learned the importance of always starting with self compassion ❤️ (hand to heart) before anything else. Change is not about beating yourself up or thinking you are less than. Change means you want a different result.
Instead of falling into my old pattern of self criticism, I try to remember to love and accept myself. I am working towards automating treating myself like I would a good friend who I care deeply about. This is a hard pattern for me to change, so I need to have a lot of self awareness, which I support by using visuals.
In order to have self compassion be my new and automatic way of thinking, I choose to work with my brain and how it learns. Reminders help because I struggle with working memory, an executive function that many people with ADHD are challenged with. The visual cues I use support me to be able to develop skills that are beneficial to my mental well being.
What do I do when the note has been on my computer so long that I start to ignore it? I have a skill for that too! I change the colour of the note or the location (I might put it on my bathroom mirror) or I do both. Sometimes I even write down “hand to heart” in my day plan and treat it like an important to do, because it is! I change things up regularly. Novelty helps me because my brain is always chasing that dopamine 🙃
I will save diving deeper into the 3 steps of change for another day.
I encourage you to start noticing what works best for you as you move towards learning and developing new skills and patterns of behaviour. When we understand ourselves and work with our unique brains, rather than against, we open doors of opportunity and consequently, greater feelings of well being 😊 Be well my friends, that is my wish for you!
